Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
