He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
