I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
