Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
