idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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