Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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