is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
