It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
