How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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