but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
