My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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