That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
