I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
