Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
