How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
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What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
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Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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