There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
