I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
