there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
