Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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