she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize