you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Im part way to drunk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
