I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
