How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
