I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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