I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
