bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize