i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
