My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
