Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
third nipple confirmed
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
