Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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