She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
