I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
