i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
