i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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