She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
