jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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