It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
