I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
