it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
