lets start a swedish sibling band together
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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