dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............