Duck Duck Cougar?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
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Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
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Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.