I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.