Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize