How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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