Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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