it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
