just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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