My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
