My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
