I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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