She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
