Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
