my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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