you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
