I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
