chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
