so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
