forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
