I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
