it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
