Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
