She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
