New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
