people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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