No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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