I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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