I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize