dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
