I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
