The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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